Alright, I know I haven't done one of these segments in a while. So for the kicks and laugh, sit back and enjoy. Right now our house is a home improvement, work in progress and absolutely no projects done, nope not even one room is finished. We have half drywall, half painted, half shelves up, half floor done, and half plumbing done and still sitting in a whirl of mess. The worse is the nightmares of others coming in all of my signs through out the house. In our bathroom the sign states, if you rock to much on this throne, you better pray because you will head downwards. (it is located above the cellar). Another sign that was up was on the front door, please ring doorbell or the dumbell is not the bell that doesn't work.
Security, Who needs it I sure don't my house is booby trapped from end to end. The one that gets everyone is my front door you walk up 3 steps, open the front door, better step or you face plant on the tile, oh yea and you better watch out for the heavy duty curtain that is velcro to the frame of the door.
The second biggest booby trap is my backyard it is a redneck fencing for a gate with tarp straps to hold it. Honestly if you don't know it is there or there isn't any lights on you will definitely meet it, boy I have done it way to many times. Or those tarp straps have snapped back, oh they leave welts and then you have everyone wondering if you were beaten.
One night the dog was chasing the ole tom cat and we hear this Boing Boing, silly cat ran right into the fence knocked himself cold and here is our dog sitting on the step waiting for him to wake up. And when he does off they go again until the cat runs into the fence, seriously you think after the fourth time he will find a different route to get out of the yard.
Another trap and I do say this with regret is our faucets, since hard water eats them. Beware to use our shower or any faucet as far as that goes. The sink with the sprayer it may turn on at the same time you turn the faucet on. The shower you turn that on and then your like oh look it is hosing down everything but you, oh and don't rock to hard on tub it is braced just by two by fours and no floor. So you see unless a project gets done around here we have our very own security system and sometimes when guest arrive we start praying from morning to dawn that nothing else creeps up.
So for any security selling person out there I don't need you currently we have own security and have ourselves as the guinea pig to find out if they work. Some of the time the winner in this battle seems to be the house, sitting there laughing, laughing and saying Ha Ha I got you this time sucker, so now what. So anyone that owns a home, I sure feel sorry for you or Wait HAHAHA Sucker.